Rules of Acquisition
The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition are seen as a moral code for most, if not all, of the Ferengi species.
The Rules are said to be written by the first Grand Nagus, the ruler of the Ferengi people.
Official Rules
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit. / Money is everything.
(Disputed between two novel sources, "The 34th Rule" and "Strange New Worlds 9")
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
4.
5.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
11.
12.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
14.
15.
16. A deal is a deal.
17. A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between Ferengi.
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
20.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23. Nothing is more important than your health… except for your money.
24.
25.
26.
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
28.
29.
30.
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
32.
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. War is good for business.
35. Peace is good for business.
36.
37.
38.
39. Don't tell customers more than they need to know.
40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
42.
43.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45. Expand or die.
46.
47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
49.
50.
51.
52. Never ask when you can take.
53. Never trust anybody taller than you.
54. Rate divided by time equals profit. (Also known as the "Velocity of Wealth")
55. Take joy from profit and profit from joy.
56.
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
61.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63.
64.
65. Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
66.
67.
68. Risk doesn't always equal reward.
69.
70.
71.
72.
73.
74. Knowledge equals profit.
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
77. If you break it, I'll charge you for it.
78.
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
80.
81.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
83.
84.
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
86.
87. Learn the customer's weaknesses so you can better take advantage of them.
88. Vengeance will cost you everything.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94. Females and finances don't mix.
95. Expand or die.
96.
97. Enough… is never enough.
98. Every man has his price. / If you can't take it with you, don't go.
Disputed from novel source, "I, Q"
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
100. When it's good for business, tell the truth.
101. Profit trumps emotion.
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103. Sleep can interfere with…
104. Faith moves mountains… of inventory.
105.
106. There is no honor in poverty.
107.
108. There is no honor in poverty.
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110.
111. Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss' sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
114.
115.
116.
117.
118.
119.
120.
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
122.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
124.
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.
126.
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130.
131.
132.
133.
134.
135. Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
136.
137.
138.
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
140.
141. Only fools pay retail.
142.
143.
144. There's nothing wrong with charity… as long as it winds up in your pocket.
145.
146.
147. People love the bartender.
148.
149.
150.
151. Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.
152.
153.
154.
155.
156.
157.
158.
159.
160.
161.
162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
163.
164.
165.
166.
167.
168. Whisper your way to success.
169.
170.
171.
172.
173.
174.
175.
176.
177. Know your enemies… but do business with them always.
178.
179.
180.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
182.
183.
184.
185.
186.
187.
188.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum.
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
191.
192. Never cheat a Klingon… unless you can get away with it.
193. It's never too late to fire the staff. / Trouble comes in threes.
Disputed between sources novel "Cathedral" and video game "Star Trek Online")
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
195.
196.
197.
198.
199.
200.
201.
202. The justification for profit is profit.
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
204.
205.
206.
207.
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
209.
210.
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
212.
213.
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
215.
216. Never gamble with a telepath.
217. You can't free a fish from water.
218. Always know what you're buying. / Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
(Disputed between sources novel "Legends of the Ferengi" and comic book "DS9: Baby on Board")
219.
220.
221.
222.
223. Keeping busy is the key to being successful. (Exact wording unknown) / Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. (According to source novel "Legends of the Ferengi")
224.
225.
226.
227.
228.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
230.
231.
232.
233.
234.
235. Duck; death is tall.
236. You can't buy fate.
237.
238.
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
240.
241.
242. More is good… All is better.
243. Always leave yourself an out.
244.
245.
246.
247.
248.
249.
250.
251.
252.
253.
254.
255. A wife is a luxury… a smart accountant a necessity.
256.
257.
258.
259.
260.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
262.
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
264.
265.
266. When in doubt, lie.
267. If you believe it, they believe it.
268.
269.
270.
271.
272.
273.
274.
275.
276.
277.
278.
279.
280.
281.
282.
283.
284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
>>NUMBERS
299. After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.
305. Always be considerate.
431. When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it.
(Unknown: A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.)
Unofficial Rules
The following saying were either not given a number, not explicitly stated to be a Rule, or were not part of the generally-accepted Rules by the Ferengi Commerce Authority.
286. When Morn leaves, it's all over.
Unnumbered Rules
–Exploitation begins at home.
–When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits… kill the messenger.
–Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
–Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
–Money is money, but females are better.
–Why ask, when you can take?
–Good things come in small packages
–A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
–If that's what's written, then that's what's written.
–A distracted policeman is an opportunity.
–If they can't be bought, get ready to fight. (A rule proposed by Grand Nagus Rom)
–It's not smart to turn down a deal with the Grand Nagus. (A rule proposed by Grand Nagus Rom)
(The unwritten rule): When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
