Mission Log 2 - Stardate 24108.16 "A Killer Survey"

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Captain Harrison Boislevesque

Stardate 242109.10

Commanding Officer’s report Star Date: 242109.10 Captain Harrison Boislevesque reporting.


Looks like I managed to keep my command after failing the last mission, which I am grateful for as I expected a boot in the rear end. I had to have numerous meeting when we got back to alpha, as apart from having to report in, I had to meet with the corps of engineers in order to go over what happened and what we did during the beginning part of the mission and during it etc, which last so many hours I was on the verge of telling them where to stick their questions, but I know it was important as it was a system that might be used in future star ships and it needed to be right with all the correct security and safety aspects in place, so I stuck it our for the eight hours and once that was complete, I was able to actually go on shore leave and see the family.


Command it seemed had decided for the second mission of the USS Charon to give us another easy mission, if there was anything like an easy mission when your serving in Star Fleet, but they had decided that the Charon should try and redeem herself, so this mission we are heading back to the Taybor star system to finish what we started last time, but we do have one additional task and that is to retrieve and try and clean up the area where our warp core smashed into and I do hope that that planet wasn’t inhabited or that an unknown had completed a salvage operation, but only time will tell.


End log.


Stardate 242109.10

Commanding Officer Report Star Date: 242109.10 Captain Harrison Boislevesque reporting.


Well this mission is one for the record books of the Charon and in my opinion not for all the good reasons, firstly it looks like Star Fleet Command collected the old smashed warp core without letting us know, so even thought there was nothing on our sensors that indicated that there was any damage to the planet, I am still wanted to send a team down there to make sure at planet side level.


The other things that I decided was that Lieutenant Sapphire Zenzin is in need of passing her Command Certification to become a bridge officer and to also to continue up the chain of command, so what I have done and only time will tell if it was a good idea or not is put her in charge of the mission, mainly being that this is a scientific mission and as she is the Chief Science Officer, I found it logical as I don’t have that much scientific knowledge.


Commander Brooks headed up an away team to look at Taybor One and his report back was an interesting summary as he said and I’m quoting here ‘That was a waste of time’, as Taybor One was classed as a Class Y Demon planet, which as interesting in itself, as to why this system housed one of them. So when he returned he reported in and I wasn’t sure if he forgot or misunderstood or he wasn’t informed about Lieutenant Zenzin leading the main part of the mission or he wasn’t liking my idea of her leading or there might even been some existing tension between some of the officers that has carried on from the old days or it might be some issues between certain officers, as he stormed off the bridge without an reason, I’m not worried that he didn’t ask permission to leave, as the temperament it was in something like that wouldn’t have even crossed his thinking, so now I have issues ordered for security to search the ship from stem to stern to find him and even I will be heading out to search for him, so I have ordered Commander Archen back to the bridge from prepping a shuttle for a second away mission to take over command of the bridge and to work with Lieutenant Zenzin on the main mission.


Fingers crossed that we find him and we can sort out this issue as I would hate to have to think about what I will need to do next.


End Log.


Acting Commanding Officer

Commander Daniel Brooks

StarDate: 242202.13

Acting Commanding Officers Log, Stardate 242202.13 Commander Daniel Brooks recording,


First off it is with great sadness that I have to put into my log of the deaths of three officers of the USS Charon. Captain Boislevesque and Lieutenant Zenzin were killed in a freak accident in the Ready Room when an EPS conduit ruptured and caused a hole in the hull. Zenzin was killed straight away while the Captain fought bravely to beat his injuries with the medical team but to no use.


I feel for the medical team as having been a medic myself, I know what they are going through right now and it isn’t easy.


StarFleet Command has ordered us to finish up our mission here in the Taybor system immediately and proceed to Starbase Forty Five for a debrief before we had back to Alpha. o be honest, I am glad we are leaving this system as it seems to be very jinxed but on the other hand sad that we haven't completed what we came here twice to do which was to survey the system.


At this current time, it has pushed me into the role of Acting Commanding Officer. Something that I would have expected to come in a few years, not right now. In doing so, I made the changes within the crew that needed to be done. Promoting Lieutenant Junior Grade Venta into the role of Chief Science Officer. Some might think it is too soon after the death of Lieutenant Zenzin, I think we need to help move her work she done forward and Venta is the best person to do this.


I have also decided to make McGill our Acting Chief Medical Officer as Captain Boislevesque had mentioned about this several times in my meetings with him and I think it is only right to follow through with this suggestion.


Our Chief Engineer Lieutenant Junior Grade Daniels, has been so busy of late, having to fix the hull breach and get his team checking other conduits through out the ship so we don’t have it happen again. He has come on a lot in the past couple of days and I am proud that he has.


I also know that Commander Archen would like to be my Acting First Officer, however, I think Lieutenant Commander Pond would be better suited. Only, because she could do with the advancement as I have noticed her getting bored of late and think this might give her a new breath into her on going development. It isn’t unusual for a lower rank to be in charge over higher ranks. It can happen in Departments and no different in Command.


I feel honoured and privileged in running this crew as their temporary Commanding Officer. I await the results of who StarFleet Command chose.


End Log.

Stardate 242202.20

Acting Commanding Officers Log, Stardate 242202.20, Commander Brooks recording,


We are on our way back to Starbase Alpha after a second unsuccessful mission for the Charon and her crew…. I don’t know whether we are jinxed. On our way back we have said goodbye to the crew we lost and have also gone through some promotions which will hopefully give the crew something good to remember, not just sadness.


While we cruise back to Alpha, it is giving me time to think about everything and it is making me wonder what the next chapter is going to be for this ship. Command haven’t given me much of an indication yet weather once we arrive at Alpha that we will get a new Commanding Officer aboard.


I have put in a request for some off Starbase shore leave if we have time, purely to clear my head of all that has gone on.


The crew have been a fantastic support to me as well as the Department Heads and I am truly grateful we have such a brilliant crew. They say it is lonely at the top but so far, I haven’t found this. I found such help and support from them that I can never repay them.


All I know is once we return to Alpha we have to await further orders… I hope whatever happens next the Charon will prove her worthiness.


End Log.


Crew Logs

First Officer

Commander Daniel Brooks

StarDate: 242110.17

First Officers Log, Stardate 242110.17, Commander Daniel Brooks recording,


I’m really not sure who thought this mission was a good idea but we are now being resent back out to the Taybor system to finish what we started on the previous mission. Which to be fair we hardly done any of the original mission which was scientifically based in mapping out the system that so far been checked out by a probe.


Since my last log I am no longer duel role as First Officer and CTO, we now have a new Chief Tactical Officer joined us in the form of the former First Officer of the USS Callisto, also a Luna Class vessel and our former Chief Engineer of the USS Sheridan. Even through I welcomed having my work load halved, I feel a little bit threatened by the officer. Our last mission ended up with an inquiry about how come we lost our warp core on our maiden voyage and none of us really came up smelling of roses. I feel through now that Command would be less likely to promote me to Captain in the near future let alone let me hold on to my position.


With our mission so far, we have arrived in the system, the warp core we lost on the last mission has already been collected but we have been asked while we are here to take another quick sweep of the area to make sure nothing is left behind. Lieutenant Junior Grade Daniels who is still fairly new to the role of Chief Engineer had been the one to order the release of the warp core. I have not been easy on him since the last mission nor the rest of the Department Heads as I feel I haven’t really stamped my role as Commander and First Officer of this still fairly new Starship.


I know the last mission has also left a few mental scars and it was another reason why I was surprised we had been sent out to finish what we started. Lieutenant Commander Pond who is our Chief of Security has taken things in her usual way but I know it can’t be easy with the amount of stuff she has seen over the last couple of years, Zenzin is still her mad self and I just can’t seem to find any common ground and it is starting to get me down rather. I have tried everything and anything I do she just seems to throw it back in my face, it is getting rather tiresome. I don’t treat her any differently to any of the other Department Heads.


I know, with Lieutenant Daniels, I will have to have it out with him at some point. Maybe I am just over stressed myself. Doctor Fletcher has also taken over on a temporary basis Chief Medical Officer until we get McGill hopefully back from a mission, she has undertaken at Star Fleet Medical.


We do have however, some new recruits aboard both Dvir and Hoekstra are doing very well and coming on with great reports. It is nice to see some positives.


The Captain has asked me to lead an away team to check out Taybor One for any parts of the warp core, In the team I have selected Lieutenant Daniels and Midshipman Hoekstra as I think these two are the best engineers for this type of mission. It will also give me the chance to talk things out with Daniels I hope. Also, along for the ride is Doctor O’Shea as I think we would be silly not to take a medic while the Charon continues it mission to survey the area and finally Lieutenant Commander Pond our Chief of Security on the small chance that there is life and not as we know it.


With that in mind I have told Commander Archen to look after the Captain in my absence and left him aboard the Charon.


End Log.


Stardate 242112.05

First Officers Log, Stardate 242112.05 Commander Daniel Brooks recording,


We have returned from our away mission with little to no real success. It was to cover any left over pieces of the warp core that Lieutenant Junior Grade Daniels jettisoned the first time we were out here. Turned out the planet’s conditions would have got rid of most if not all trace elements.


Midshipman Hoekstra however, did manage to find some interesting other findings that he will share with Science department.


Everyone made it out alive and in one piece that is the main thing. Even through it may have also felt a little like a waste of effort as the team that towed us away had already taken most of it with them.


I guess at least it wasn’t one of those boring diplomatic missions but still I feel for the moral of the crew I took with me not having a great outcome. On top of that even the shuttle needs a longer overhaul then usual due to the toxic elements it came into.


I hope future missions will be a little more successful.


End Log.


Stardate 242201.10

Personal Log, Stardate 242201.10, Commander Daniel Brooks recording,


Today, I lost it. I finally blew my top. Totally out of order I admit but having had three years of Lieutenant Zenzin jibs I had enough. She shown little or no respect towards me, even through I have helped her and carried on trying to ignore it while the Captain lets her get away with it constantly. It has worn me down.


Regardless, if it is her mission to run. There are ways of talking to people and she clearly hasn’t got it. Weather you like a person or not you don’t undermine them in front of everyone time and time again to make yourself look good.


Along with the investigation into how come I let the Chief Engineer lose a very new state of the art warp core on our first mission out as I was in charge of the Bridge at the time. Let alone a few other incidents that have happened and bang…..Doctor Finch has suggested talking to someone but at the moment I don’t want to as it would make things boil over into being an official complaint or the such like and I really don’t want to go down that route.


The only thing I am doing right now is riding this mission out and see what comes of it……… then we shall see where I will end up going….


End Log.


Chief of Security

Lieutenant Commander Luna Pond

Stardate 242110.19

Chief of Security Log Star date 242110.19 Lieutenant Commander Luna Pond Recording


Where do I start, well after the shambles of the last mission Star Fleet has now given us new orders. To return to the site of the said shambles and the Taybor system.


How do I feel about this you may ask? A mix of anger, paranoia and nervous anxiety. Last time system's were taken over on the ship, causing me to almost lose my life to a full red blooded Klingon warrior. Fortunately Sickbay was able to solve it for me. What a blessing 24th Century medicine is.


Anyway I digress, we have now returned to the system to be faced with a dare say pure silence. It's unnerving and unnatural and I far from like it. I now await with bated breath the outcome of this away team mission I have now been requested to join by Commander Brooks.


Wish us luck as we explore this strange new world.


End Log.


Security Officer

Midshipman Jake Morgenson

Stardate 242201.05

Crew's Personal Log Stardate 242201.05 Officer Jake Morgenson recording.


Here I am, sitting at my chair in the middle of my quarters, enjoying what may be my final few days on-board this ship. I know, I know, I overreacted. I suppose I shouldn't have pulled the phaser on my own roommate, and perhaps closest friend. Why did I? Perhaps it was the dream I had about an intruder. Perhaps it was my sudden surprise at the roommate. Or perhaps I was too anxious to my duty, too aligned to regulations, too blind and too far away from the fact that not everyone around me is a proverbial "bad guy."


Ah well. I am curious. A while ago, I was devastated about the discovery of my family heirloom and my use of it. I am still now. But I know that there's a galaxy out there. A galaxy filled with new things to do. Perhaps I could become an Orion trader, working discreetly behind the backs of the people that I once wore their uniform proudly, and still do. Or I could become a weapons dealer, hoping to earn enough and live a life of luxury just out of the reaches of Federation law and space.


All being said, I still do wear my uniform proudly, of course. I will fight hard and long to stay in Starfleet, even if that means I have to submit to court-martials and things of the sort. I guess you could say that the reason I am so sad is because of the disappointment I felt in me, already. If my parents hear about this, I can only imagine the disgrace I will face when I get home.


I wonder, and still do, what will become of me.


End Log.


Stardate 242202.21

Personal log, Stardate 242202.21, Jake Morgenson Recording,


Well s**t.


I'm in shock. That's all I've pretty much got to say.


My first ever away team was supposed to be a simple one: map and go. I didn't even have to be the one to do all the scanning and stuff. I just had to stand and look strong, and protect the away team. And what happened? An officer died. One that I never got to know, and one that will always be locked in my memory forever.


I don't remember the details of what happened that time clear as crystal, but if there's one thing for sure is that I will never forget the fear, the shock, the horror that struck me that fateful day.


Then I come up. expecting to find a debriefing and possibly some way to save Lt Lunori, and what do I find? Two more dead, one blueshirt, one maroonshirt, and yes, one redshirt. So that's how many? Well, based on my logic that makes 3 dead. 3.


Perhaps I should have taken my mother's advice and mentally prepared myself for this. But come to think of it, I didn't. And I suffered the consequences like a train smashing into my face head on. I suppose I can't blame myself for what happened, but then again, there's no one else to blame, isn't it? Clear as day, even though maybe everyone either still hasn't worked it out yet, or has already worked it out but doesn't want to say it out loud.


I really should see that new counselor that just came aboard.


End Log.


Chief Engineering Officer

Lieutenant Junior Grade Matthew Daniels

Stardate 242202.20

Personal log, Stardate 242202.20, Matthew Peter Daniels Recording,


Where to begin?


We were sent to that system again, Taybor, it will be a place that haunts me for the rest of my career! First time round I dumped the warp core and ended up getting the ship towed home, well done me.


So we got a new core and got sent back to complete our previous task. Seemed alright to start with, we located what was left of the old core and everything was going well.


I was on the bridge when..., there was a boom from the ready room. The Cap,...The Captain and Chief Science Officer were killed, Lieutenant Zenzin died straight away and Captain soon after. It seems that there was a fault that had been spotted but left because it was still within normal guidelines. I dare say that might change now though. It's all in the logs and is nobodies fault, though I feel dreadful about it and wonder if I would have left the fault to its own devices. Who knows, Aurora says I shouldn't second guess myself and worry too much about what could have been.


I've enjoyed talking to Aurora of late and think maybe I should invite her out to dinner, a shame I'm such a coward.


Talk soon I guess,


End Log


Engineering Officer

Midshipman Cornelius Hoekstra

Stardate 242112.10

Taybor I Away Team - After Action Report Stardate: 242112.10 Midshipman Cornelius Hoekstra reporting,


Background

In its previous mission to the Taybor system, the USS Charon’s warp core was ejected from the ship. The core was caught in the gravitational field of Taybor I, a Class Y planet, and fell to the planet’s surface. Upon arriving in the system to render assistance, the USS Felicia made an attempt to recover what remained of the warp core.


Objectives

Captain Boislevesque ordered an in-person survey of the core’s crash site. The objective was to verify that all pieces of the warp core had been recovered from the planet’s surface. Commander Brooks was given command of the away team, which consisted of LCdr Pond, Lt(JG) Daniels, Lt(JG) O’Shea and myself.


Synopsis

We travelled to Taybor I in the Ophne, and landed at a site next to the crater left behind by the USS Felicia’s recovery operation. The shuttle was struck by lightning while landing, however, the shuttle’s systems did not appear to be affected. Upon arriving on the planet’s surface, it immediately became clear that a full scale survey was not going to be possible in a single trip. The toxic and corrosive nature of the atmosphere was capable of compromising EV suit integrity in approximately 15 minutes and the shuttle in 30 minutes. The conditions also rendered transporters inoperable.


Commander Brooks split the group into 3 teams. LCdr Pond and Lt(JG) Daniels were assigned to cover the southern and eastern portions of the crater, Commander Brooks and myself covered the northern and western portions, and Lt(JG) O’Shea was stationed in between the two other groups to monitor vitals. The groups donned EV suits and disembarked.


The planet's surface was rocky and uneven, making it difficult to navigate on foot. Scanning ranges were limited due to atmospheric conditions. Scans of the crater and the surrounding area revealed natural dilithium deposits. The crater was calculated to be a hemisphere with a radius of roughly 400 meters. The recovery operation had disturbed the regional soil compaction around the crater, creating an increased possibility of landslides.


Neither tricorder scans nor visual scans picked up any debris in the crash site. Scans were made of the atmospheric and soil composition and samples were collected from the surface. The full readouts for those scans are attached to this report. Approximately five minutes into the mission, Commander Brooks ordered the groups back to the shuttle, making sure that they were able to return well within the safety limits of the EV suits. The team was able to board the shuttle and return to the USS Charon without further incident.


Analysis

The size of the crater suggested that the USS Felicia had extracted a larger radius of material from the planet than the crash site would have theoretically necessitated. Calculations were performed to assess the corrosive effects of the atmosphere on the materials used in the construction of the warp core. These calculations are attached to the report and are available for review. By all estimates, any pieces of the warp core that may have escaped the recovery site would have corroded beyond the point of being usable by the time the away team made planetfall.


Recommendations

While it was important to ensure that all of the ejected warp core was collected from the surface of Taybor I, it is my opinion that much of the verification work performed on the away mission could have been performed from the relative safety of the USS Charon with the same accuracy. The ship’s systems are more than capable of estimating the size of the crater, obtaining the planet’s atmospheric composition, and then cross referencing that information with the known materials of the warp core.


That said, collecting samples from the surface of the planet was something that did require an away team. With some additional time for planning, the science department could have had a more prominent involvement in the away mission. This would have given them the opportunity to collect more samples and perform a short survey of the planet which would have been in line with our current mission in the system.


End Report.


Stardate 242102.13

Taybor II Away Team - After Action Report Stardate: 22102.13 Midshipman Cornelius Hoekstra reporting,


Background

Having returned to the Taybor system, the USS Charon resumed its previous mission of surveying the system for its suitability for colonization. Taybor II, a class M planet in the system, was identified as a possible candidate. Chief Science Officer Lieutenant Sapphire Zenzin was given command of the mission.


Objectives

Lieutenant Zenzin ordered an in-person survey of Taybor II to assess its viability as a colonization site. The away team was led by Lieutenant Mori Lunori and consisted of Lt Feta, Mid Morgenson, Mid Finch, and myself.


Synopsis

Traveling aboard the Acheron, a landing site was chosen on the planet’s largest continent. We landed in a clearing in a large forest. Upon landing sensors indicated that the site had a large variety of flora and fauna available for study. As the atmosphere was breathable, the away team disembarked and began to spread out from the shuttlecraft.


A visual inspection of the surroundings found the local flora to be as varied as expected on a Class M Planet. Many of the plants resembled similar counterparts on Terra. However, all of the vegetation was larger than usual. The away team was alerted to a disturbance in the forest and was soon charged by a herd of spooked cervine creatures. Like the outsized flora, the creatures were much larger than their terran equivalents.


The cause of the disturbance was soon made clear when three large lupine creatures breached the clearing. Upon entering the clearing, one of the creatures stepped on Lt Lunori, killing her immediately. The creatures began to take interest in the rest of the team, exhibiting threatening behaviors.


Mid Morgenson fired a phaser at the creatures. At the same time, Commander Archen, Lt(JG) Troy and PO2 Surik arrived to provide assistance. The creatures retreated into the forest, giving medical staff an opportunity to retrieve Lt Lunori’s body. The away team were then ordered to return to the Charon as the ship had been recalled from its mission.


Analysis

The away team was recalled before in-depth scans could be performed. With only minimal information available, an accurate assessment of the viability for colonization on Taybor II is impossible. However, the size of the local fauna presents a unique security challenge for establishing a colony.


Recommendations

Given my lack of expertise with regards to colonization, I cannot give a well informed recommendation of how to proceed. Commander Archen has suggested the deployment of a hazard beacon to warn future potential surveys of the threats present on the planet’s surface.


End Report.


Acting Chief Medical Officer

Lieutenant Junior Grade Kate Fletcher

Stardate 242110.31

Acting Chief Medical Officers Log, Stardate 242110.31, Doctor Kate Fletcher recording,


Well, here we are. Reassigned to a fairly new ship called the USS Charon. Under command of Captain Boislevesque and Commander Brooks his First Officer who is a former Chief Medical Officer of the USS Copernicus.


I don’t know how their friendship works in their roles but they were in command of the USS Sheridan before they were reassigned to this new more scientific exploration vessel. The only real good thing is I know come shore leave I will be able to go see my son Ethan back on Earth and that he is now getting a proper routine with my parents and sister looking after him.


I was originally assigned to the vessel to be a Counselor as the Sheridan was more of a destroyer vessel and Star Fleet wanted me to help readjust them to a new way of life instead of all out war that they have become accustom to. Having read up on their first mission on the Charon, it didn’t go to well and them seems to be a divide and blame game going on thanks to the investigation. I hope that we can fix this in a few short months.


As a result, though, one of the Doctors who would be holding this position had been reassigned last minute to Star Fleet Medical. Captain Boislevesque asked me to take over the running of Sickbay in the interim. Which I hope isn’t too long.


In other news, Medical does have a couple of new additions to the O’Shea and Finch who is fresh faced and from the Academy. Finch does seem like he is capable and little bit wiser than his years.


We are now on mission to Taybor system which is where the Charon was going first mission before it all went wrong. There are clear mixed feelings among the crew to return to this sector of space. The mental scaring is harder to work through unlike physical issues.


I am yet to mix with all the crew as there seems to be a few new faces apart from Lieutenant Commander Pond that I know from a previous assignment.


It all makes for a fresh challenge.


End Log.


Medical Officer

Lieutenant Junior Grade Julia Troy

Stardate 242202.13

Crew's Personal Log Stardate 242202.13 Medical Officer/Counselor Lt(JG) Julia Troy Recording


Was transferred to the Charon and before getting to the ship, was ordered to join the away team. Just as I was getting there I sensed that one member of the away team was dead. I had noticed three wolves near the body with the ribcage and lungs crushed and her head had hit the rock underneath her. I had to confirm that she was deceased so that she can be taken back.


I could tell that it wasn't easy for any of them cause they knew her. I haven't met her since she was gone before I got to the planet. Hopefully I would be able to help prepare her before she goes back home.


I know that it isn't easy for anyone who was close to crew members. At least I will be there to help when they need it. I've seen death since I joined and it hasn't bothered me cause of the first death I experienced was my younger sister's death.


End Log.


Medical Officer

Midshipman Gabriel Finch

Stardate 242111.11

Crew's Personal Log Stardate 242111.11 Doctor Gabriel Finch recording


This is my first personal log as an actual officer, on board an actual Star Fleet Vessel. Midshipman Gabriel Finch... it seems so foreign to actually say out loud. It's like at any moment, someone will come along and tell me that there was some kind of mistake. Maybe I actually did fail my final exam at the Academy. Go home Finch and stay put behind that receptionist desk. You set your sights too high so time to pull you back down.


But here you are Gabe... siting in your own quarters, in your own Star Fleet Medical uniform. You have spent time in Sickbay so you know what is happening is very much real. This isn't just another story you have heard from Mom and Pop. This is yours. God, it's enough to make one feel both lost and at home at the same time. I've waited so many years for this experience to be mine. But why can I not completely enjoy it. Why does my happiness always leave me in a daze? That I should feel shame for having even a moment of joyfulness. A conflict of my mind and soul that I can't seem to shake. No matter how many times I try to shove it down, it always bubbles right back up to the top. This should have been ours Kerri. Maybe if that day had gone differently. But here I am, talking to myself basically. I am where I always hoped I would be, and yet I feel like I am far from where I should actually be.


End Log.


Stardate 242112.01

Crew's Personal Log Stardate 242112.01 Doctor Gabriel Finch recording


I am sitting here on the edge of my bed, the padd here beside me as I dictate this log, unsure what to say. My head is a swirl of a bunch of thoughts, but it seems hard to get them in line tonight. The words are there though. Imagine them in like a waiting room, each waiting their turn to be called up.


Maybe I'll blame the Vulcan Ensign as she got me thinking about the way I speak and how I talk to patients. Leave it to a Vulcan to make you realize that saying a liver is talking is not that common of a phrase. I could always get a tattoo of a cartoon liver complaining about too much drink and not enough water... a little inside joke for just myself.


Maybe I'll blame Ensign Crab. Because of him, I played myself when I just knew that I was going to have to trap him in a way. It's what I get for thinking like a cadet still and not an actual officer. Immature and sneaky. But I can't put this on him though. I need to be the professional here.


Maybe I'll just put the blame on myself. That is way it should go anyway. It is your own mind and thoughts so it's on you to get them in order. Need to learn to be more up front of with people and not be so odd with your words.


Be more up front.


That has never been a strong suit of mine over the years I guess. But I can't... I won't... go down that road tonight. I need move on from her... Even if for a night. A break... She's always there but just one night to give me a chance to rest and not ramble.


That's what I am am seemingly doing at the moment... rambling.. Sitting here on the edge of my bed talking about cartoon livers and words. Talking wasted words.


God I need to get some rest.


End log.