Life Starts Now - 21104.01

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By Raymond Gage

A light breeze skimmed across the blue-green waters of San Francisco Bay, stirring up the water and causing an occasional whitecap. It was a typical mid-winter day in San Francisco; brilliant clear sunshine and temperatures hovering in the 18 degrees Celsius range. Also what was typical about it was that it was warmer than some days in mid-June.

The lone figure sitting on the bench smiled at the thought of the old Mark Twain quote about summer in San Francisco being colder than winter most other places as he gazed at the sparkling water. Funny thing is winter here is nicer than summer and winter most other places.


As I sat staring off at the bay, the hills off to the north and east, and the span of the Golden Gate Bridge, I could feel the bustle of activity behind me, the feeling of purpose and need to get somewhere quickly as well as a mixture of conversations both serious and relaxed. It was a good feeling and one I had missed for far too long. A part of me wanted to turn and watch it all and to not only feel the energy but to see it as well. See it in the young and serious faces of Starfleet cadets. I resisted the urge and kept my back to it, knowing my mind’s eye could picture it very clearly because I too had been one of those eager, serious and purposed cadets. Has it really been that long ago? I asked myself.

I fully knew the answer to that question; yes it has been. Hearing those words echo in my head almost made me realize that might just be what I was too—a has been. Then I shook my head and pushed that thought aside. It’s the retirement talking, I told myself, just because you are retired doesn’t mean you are washed up and ready for the old space jockey home.

I glanced up as he heard the telltale whine of engines and spied a shuttle on approach to the Academy landing pad. The shuttle flared and pivoted smartly, coming to rest on landing gear that came down just moments before they reached the ground. I had to admit it was a decent show of skills as the pilot could have easily just powered through the breeze and came in hard and straight, instead it was more a show of finesse. Showing off is really what it was. I had to smile at that because I knew that were it me in that pilot seat I would have done the same thing. As the shuttle settled into place and the whine of its engines faded away a memory stirred in me. It was a day just like this one and a day I tried to both wipe from my mind and never forget.

“Slip of latinum for your thoughts?” said a voice from my left.

I smiled. It was my wife Melissa. She slid onto the bench next to me.

“I was just remembering something. Something about this place and something that happened a long time ago.”

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes until she finally turned to me. “So are you going to tell me about it?”

I put her hand in mine and looked into her eyes. If there had been one constant over the last years of my life it had been her. She had stood by my side through quite a lot. But this was something sacred to me, both frightening and special. Her hand moved in mine and I took a deep breath.

“It all happened when I was eight…”

“Dad, hurry up, the shuttle is going to leave without us!”

I stood directly in the center of the main path from the Academy proper to the shuttle landing bays, my hands on my hips, my expression harried and serious. I stared at the figures striding towards me, arm in arm, both of them sharing a laugh. My parents were taking their time and it was driving me crazy.

It wasn’t like this was my first time at the Academy or even in a shuttle. At age 8 I had already spent more time in space and prowling the halls of the Academy than most of the current class of cadets. But today was different; today my father took command of a brand new ship, an experimental ship, a ship that was the first of its kind. And it was even more than that. My mother had spent the last two years as a team leader in the design of this ship. Today’s launch ceremony was something very important to my family.

“If you are so worried that the shuttle will leave without us kiddo then you better run and tell Commander Sutton that his Captain is ordering him to wait,” my father said with a warm smile and a rustling of my hair.

I needed no further prompting. I turned on my heel and dashed off to the landing pad where I could see Commander Sutton standing in the hatchway of the sleek new shuttle, the number and name of the ship emblazoned in bold black letters on the side. I skidded to a halt and came to attention.

“Captain Gage respectfully requests that you hold the shuttle for his arrival Commander.” Richard Sutton was one of those officers that just seemed to naturally have a smile on his face. His laugh lines and wrinkles were always showing and when combined with his twinkling green eyes and curly red hair he just always seemed so friendly. He also knew to take me seriously at times.

“Aye aye Cadet, the shuttle is holding and waiting for the arrival of the Captain,” he said in all seriousness and then glanced up to see my parents walking towards the ramp and he nodded and winked in their direction.

He and my father were old friends and had served in Starfleet together for years and now he was joining my father’s crew as First Officer. All of my earliest memories of someone being in my life other than my parents were of him and his wife Anne.

I bounded past the commander and into the shuttle. I headed straight for the cockpit and settled into the co-pilot’s chair, grabbing the harness and strapping myself in. Commander Sutton came in behind me and gave me one of his winks and patted me on the shoulder as he slid into the pilot’s chair, punching controls as he did so to cycle the shuttle through its startup procedures.

“Ray, come sit back here with your father and I and let Commander Sutton fly the shuttle,” my mother called from the seats behind the cockpit.

Her tone wasn’t really an order but it was in that mother’s voice, the one I knew that I must obey because the next words were going to be an order. I frowned and pouted.

“It’s okay Lil,” Commander Sutton said to my mother, giving me a wink. “The boy’s just fine where he’s at. You and Tom just settle in.”

My frown was instantly replaced with a huge grin and I finished buckling in.

A few minutes later the shuttle smartly lifted off from the Academy pad and pivoted out over San Francisco Bay, gaining altitude quickly. While all of this was happening I was watching everything the Commander did and I must have asked dozens of questions which he readily and earnestly answered. Twenty minutes later the shuttle landed at what was then Starbase One and we departed.

The next little while was like a whirlwind. I remember there being so many people there all smiling and excited, all wanting to talk to both my father and mother. They were shaking hands and patting each other on the back. Most of them pretty much ignored me. There were other kids there but they were off playing or something. While all of this was boring to me it was also interesting. I liked being around the adults and all the serious talk. I also liked being where I could see my father’s ship hanging there in space right outside the huge windows. Its design was sleek and the nacelles were tucked in tight to the secondary hull and the primary hull came to a smooth wedge shape. It was just so different from every other ship.

Finally the time came for my father to leave and we walked off together, the three of us, to be alone.

I remember feeling sad that he was leaving but also really excited. He was in command of Starfleet’s newest ship and going on a mission that no one had ever dared before.

He knelt down in front of me and reached into his pocket. I remember staring into his blue eyes and feeling his hands on the front of my shirt as he pinned the special stylized and unique comm badge onto my chest. It was just like the one on his uniform.

He tapped it. “Captain to Cadet Gage,” he said in a serious tone.

I grinned and tapped mine. It chirped. “Gage here, go ahead Captain.”

“Disengage mooring clamps.”

“Aye aye, mooring clamps disengaged.”

“Thrusters on full, take us out Mr. Gage,” he said, his voice shaking a little bit.

“Aye aye, thrusters on full, and taking us out sir,” I said smartly.

He hugged me. I could feel the strength of him and how big and warm he felt in my arms. He kissed me on the forehead and got up. He took my mother’s hand and they kissed softly, whispering something to each other. Then he was gone.

I went with my mother back to the main area where the party was. There were still a lot of important people there and they were all standing in front of the windows. I just stood there holding my mother’s hand watching the ship and knowing my father was over there, sitting in the command chair and giving orders.

Finally the moorings detached from the hull and the ship slid from the space dock. Everyone clapped and cheered. I was smiling and felt so proud at that moment. Then the ship seemed to hesitate and something shimmered along the nacelles. I looked at my mother and she nodded and smiled at me. It was a normal start up of the special engines.

But then a few minutes went by and nothing happened. And then the ship seemed to shudder. The crowd gasped and my mother pulled me closer to the window.

Then my comm badge chirped. I tapped it. “Dad?”

My father’s voice came through the badge but it wasn’t directed at me. He was giving orders. He was in engineering trying to determine what was going wrong. He couldn’t hear me. For some reason the badge I had was on the same channel as his. Then we all heard an explosion and screaming. My mother gripped my hand tightly. Then my father’s voice came over the roar in the background. He was ordering the ship to move out at full impulse, to get away from the Starbase. Then we all heard the words “catastrophic warp failure.” My mother was whispering, “Eject the core Tom, eject the core,” over and over.

The sky lit up.

Melissa wiped the tear from my cheek and pressed her hand to my lips.

“I’m so sorry Ray. I knew how your father died but I never realized you were there. You never told me.”

I wiped the tear from my other eye and kissed her fingers on my lips and then took her hand tightly in mine.

“It’s something I have never shared with anyone before. I usually don’t let it come to the surface or think about it much anymore, just sometimes when I’m here at the Academy. And I try to remember him not for being gone but for being who he was; a great father and officer.”

“It must have been hard, being 8 years old and watching that happen and then your father not being there,” Melissa said reassuringly.

“It was hard,” I replied. “I spent a long time being sad, angry, confused and just not understanding it all. My mother was great though. She really helped me work through it but I knew she was hurting. She sometimes cried at night and she would do something and then pause, getting this faraway look. It was like a part of her was missing each day. Until finally, one year after it had all happened, we came here, to this spot and she told me to never forget my father, to never stop loving who he was but to move on with life and not live in the past. She said, ‘Life starts now, Ray.’”

Melissa rubbed my shoulder in a supportive way, her other hand in mine. Our eyes met and then moved to the bronze statue across the path. It was a stylized symbol, the same unique one that had been on the comm badge my father had given me that day. There was a dedication plaque on the statue that read. “To the brave crew of the USS Galactic Explorer, they dared to go where no one has gone before.”

Melissa and I sat, hand in hand, arm in arm and watched the sun set, its slanted rays glimmering off the statue.