First Place Winner Stardate 20306.22

Past Reflections - by Cmdr Dan Wueste

© 2003 by Federation Space and the author pen named Dan Wueste

Preface – Stardate 20305.30:

Life is one of those interesting things. When it’s good it’s something to be cherished. When it’s bad it becomes like a terminal disease, a nightmare with no end. People say there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, well, when life is good that light consumes you, when it’s bad that light just isn’t there.

My life has been, as I’m sure it has been with most of yours, a combination of those two aspects. Some of it has been wonderful beyond description, and some of it has been bad beyond imagination. That’s what life is; it’s a culmination of moments. These moments, both good and bad, come together to make us who we are. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don’t, but in the end it is those moments, where they do work out, that make the times when they don’t bearable.

They say the worst thing in the world is for a parent to outlive their children, well, that’s the truth. What’s even worse however is to outlive everyone that is important to you. Thankfully few people must endure this, unfortunately, for me anyway, I am one of the few who must endure a pain beyond anything I could fully convey to you. Everyone I love is gone, and yet I continue.

There are people who claim to have no regrets; they go through life telling everyone they have no regrets. They say this as if it is some kind of medal, something to be shown off, to be flaunted. Allow me to be blunt with you here, people who say they have no regrets are lying, it’s as simple as that. It is impossible to go through life, in this universe filled with pain and suffering, and come through with no regrets whatsoever. It simply isn’t possible. I don’t care if the regret is as trivial as wishing you had worn a jacket on a cold day, or as profound as wishing you hadn’t gotten yourself drunk and piloted the vehicle that killed a family. No matter what there is some regret. It is not whether that regret is there or not that defines us however, it is, rather, how we live with that regret, and what we learn from it. That is not to say that one cannot come through this life without feeling that, overall, it was a good one. Far from it in fact, what I am saying is that we all make mistakes, we all regret something, there will always be something we wish we had done differently, and that is part of what makes us human.

Life is, after all, an endless learning experience. What defines us as people is how well we learn the lessons of life, what we choose to take with us, and what we choose to ignore.

There are also people in this world who say that no one is perfect. They’re telling the truth. They are, however, saying it for the wrong reasons. They’re not saying it as a statement of fact; they’re saying it to others, or to themselves, as a way to absolve guilt. It’s there way of saying, mostly to themselves, well, I goofed up, a mistake was made, but you know, it really wasn’t my fault, the fault lies in my holding myself to standards that are too high, or the fault lies with the world for holding me to standards that are too high. To say no one is perfect is our way of telling the world that we aren’t at fault, because hey, we aren’t perfect. I look at this saying in a different way, sure we aren’t perfect, and sure there are people who strive all their lives to be perfect (and invariably fail), but why should that be an excuse? Perhaps, instead, not being perfect is a good thing. A world filled with perfect people would be boring, dull, and lifeless. No mistakes would be made, nothing profound would be accomplished, because everything would be profound, and feelings would cease to matter, because, you know, we’d all be perfect, so what else would matter? That’s why I say it’s good we’re not perfect, it makes life worth living. It’s not an excuse, but rather something else that defines you and I as people, flawed, imperfect, but always striving for something better. For it is thanks to this imperfect world, filled with imperfect people, that we have some of the most precious moments of our lives, holding someone in our arms to comfort them, to share in their pain, to having a reason to congratulate ourselves when we do something well.

So, what’s the meaning of life? Well, perhaps that question itself is meaningless. Perhaps all that matters is that we are alive.

Why are we here? Maybe that doesn’t matter either; maybe what really matters is that we are here.

So, if why we’re here, and the meaning of why we’re here, is pointless, than what does matter? That’s simple, what matters is something we’re all capable of, what matters is learning, growing, striving to improve ourselves, sharing our existence with another, and passing on what we learn to the next generation. What matters is that we pass on who we are, so that those who come after us can learn from our mistakes, and live better lives because of it. Perhaps our purpose here is nothing more then to make things better for those to come later, to make our mark on the world by bringing happiness to others. Why does it need to be any more complicated than that? I don’t think it does, I think that’s enough to worry about in and of itself.

Time is an equally complex issue, if not even more interesting to consider. Time is an artificial creation designed to explain the constant changes we experience; yet it is a part of us. In the process of reading this very sentence you are literally traveling through time, the moment you began this sentence is now in the past, you exist in a brief moment that you call the present, and the moment you finish this sentence is in the future, yet, now that it is here, as you finish this one simple sentence, that future becomes the present, and then the past, in the blink of an eye. What is it about time that’s so fascinating, well, it all begins with the fact it is always present, always around us, always affecting us. We look to the past, we look to the future, and we can only think of them. We exist only in the present, but each moment that is, for a brief second, the present, soon becomes the past, a memory. Time is our way of trying to explain this, our way of trying to wrap our minds around this detail.

Despite the fact that time is designed to help comfort us in our understanding of a difficult concept, it can, by its very nature, cause more pain than almost any other ‘natural’ aspect of our lives. Time can separate, time can destroy, time can do so many things that would seem impossible for something so intangible, yet these things happen, and why? Because Time, by being what it is, ravages all, it destroys all.

How many of us can clearly remember the faces of our childhood friends? How many of us can remember the moments that were once so important to us? Perhaps this is times true nature. It can take all, but it takes from us so completely that, in time, we not only lose that which we once held dear, we also begin to forget. There are things we will never forget. Yet time can twist reality into events that never happened, memories far more pleasant than the actual events they chronicle. Much of this is a part of human nature; the rest is just the fun of existence.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of life is the fact that, whether we realize it or not, we have a choice in all things. What we do is not preordained, but rather up to us. How we go forward, the face we present to the world, it’s all up to us. You too have a choice to make right now, that choice is an easy one; so don’t bother harping on it. Your choice is to decide whether what you’ve just read, and what you will read, has any validity to it, or if it is nothing more than the rambling of a man who has lost touch with reality.

I’ll let you decide. If you choose to believe that I am not completely senile then what follows will allow you to travel with me through time. To a time when things were different…

Section I - Present:

I know my wife and children are in heaven, but they aren’t waiting for me, even in death we will not meet again… the things I have done in life, since their death, will condemn me to hell, but, while I regret their death, I do not regret the actions I have taken since… what I have done, what I will do, has been necessary… they exist now only in my memory, and I will avenge them.

Would they have wanted me to do this? I don’t know, I will likely never know… I acknowledge that what I do now is more for me than it is for them. I must have peace, and this is the only way I will ever find it.

They say one man’s hero is another man’s villain, well; I am hero to no one. I do not wish to be a hero, all I want is to die knowing that those who caused so much pain and suffering for my beloved family have paid for what they did. All I want is to die knowing that the wrongs of the past have been wiped clean. What I cannot rectify in life will be resolved by my own death. When I die all the loose ends will be wrapped up, but I cannot die yet, there remains much to do.

Irony has become a driving factor in my life, for so many of the events in my life have been so ironic one has but a single choice, to laugh at the situation, or be driven slowly but surely mad by it.

Arguably I’ve done a little of both.

Why I am here, now, writing this log you ask? Well that’s simple, before my work is done, before I die, I want to leave a record explaining my action. For as much as it pains me to admit, I still long for understanding, and I know someone, somewhere, will someday read this and understand, they will understand and forgive me. Even if it is only one person, that’s all I need, it’s all I want.

There are a number of sayings, beyond those discussed above, that I have taken to heart and made a part of me. I’ll open this chapter of the story with the following…

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may mean the world.”

Section II – 17 Years Earlier, Stardate 18603.18:

[This is San Francisco Ground Control to Shuttlecraft Spicer; you have clearance to land at Pad Alpha-9]

“Acknowledged ground control, ETA 3 Minutes.” The pilot replied.

It had been a long, but overall productive, trip. Just the same Tom was glad to be home.

He’d been away for the last month. One of his former students, an Ensign now on Deep Space Five, had suffered some kind of mental breakdown. Tom still wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but the Ensign had been one of his best Cadets, they were friends, and so he had traveled out to DS5 to help.

He had managed to talk the Ensign into taking a few months leave, and better still he had managed to talk the Station Commander into guaranteeing that the Ensign could return if and when he was fit for duty. It had been an interesting, though somewhat alarming, trip for him. The Ensign, Patrick Atkinson, had been an outstanding student, bordering on the brilliant. Tom had never imagined him having any problems after graduation.

Sometimes, though, assumptions were wrong, and while Atkinson’s record showed he was proving himself a capable officer, he had simply been unable to handle the stress in the long run.

Despite that Tom remained confident, after all they’d discussed, and the plans Pat had made for his time off, that he would be able to return to duty down the road and succeed.

“I guess it just takes some people longer than others to adjust to change…” He mumbled.

“I beg your pardon, Sir?” The pilot asked.

Tom laughed softly as he spoke, “Forgive me, lost in thought, I’m sure you know how it goes.”

“Yes, Sir.” The pilot replied.

The rest of the flight, all 3 minutes of it, proceeded without incident, and in silence.

When the shuttle had put down Tom thanked the pilot and quickly disembarked.

“Welcome Home, Commander, you be back at work tomorrow?”

Tom looked up as he heard and recognized the voice.

“Ed, what are you doing here? It’s 0400, shouldn’t you be in bed?” Tom asked, smiling and extending a hand.

“Well, you know how it goes, have to make sure our best Instructor gets back in one piece.” Taylor replied, taking the extended hand and shaking it.

“You know, Ed, I’ve always appreciated your ability to suck up, and as happy as I am to see you, just tell me why you’re here… is something wrong?” The question had gained a sense of urgency, he hadn’t spoken to his wife in nearly 2 weeks, and he was beginning to worry.

“Can’t a friend come and welcome his friend home after a long trip?” Taylor began, “The truth of the matter is that Sara hasn’t spoken to you in awhile, and she was worried, the girls have been asking about you apparently, so she gave me a call at 1700 and asked me to stop by and make sure your shuttle got in all right.”

Thank god… she’s ok. He thought.

“Now, see, that wasn’t so hard.” Tom stated, his tone noticeably more relaxed now.

It was late, and Tom was tired, so he was grateful to have someone to meet him, it helped keep him awake.

After a short drive to his house Tom said goodbye to Taylor, grabbed his suitcase, and headed into the home he had missed so much.

The doors parted and he found his wife, Sara, waiting for him.

“You’re up late.” He said, instantly regretting sounding so playful, as Sara certainly did not look in the mood for it.

“You’ve got some nerve walking in here like this.” She said.

“Well, this is when I told you I’d be back.” He replied.

She was nearly in tears, “That was two weeks ago, not a word since, and all Star Fleet was able to tell me was that you’d booked passage on a shuttle to return today. You’re not single anymore, Thomas, you can’t just go places without letting people know regularly that you’re ok.”

“Command would have notified you if something had happened.” He didn’t know what else to say.

“That’s a real comfort, I should just sit back and relax, right? Because if something happens I’ll have someone at my front door to give me a flag, right? That would make it all better. What am I supposed to tell our daughters when you’re gone and I don’t know how you are?”

He knew it was pointless arguing when she had herself worked up. Besides, he also knew she was right. It had been irresponsible of him. But so much had happened, the time had slipped by. He’d told himself everyday he’d call the next, and he just never had. Sara and Tom had been married for nearly 5 years now, the girls were 3 and 4… and Tom was surprised how easily he’d forgotten the responsibilities that came with that.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” What else could he say?

He took her in his arms, and held her.

“I missed you.” He said.

He looked into her eyes, he saw everything that mattered, he kissed her, and he felt it would be all right.

They went to bed, he held her, he never wanted to let her go.

“I wish you had come home a little earlier.” She whispered.

“I know, but I’m here now.” He replied.

“Yes you are… but I had hoped to give you a little more advanced warning…”

He was confused, “Warning? Of what?”

“I’m going to be away for a bit myself starting tomorrow…” She said.

“Where are you going?”

Her answer came as if it were the most innocent response she could give, “Farius Prime.”

Tom nearly shot up, “You have got to be kidding me, that’s one of the worst places in the quadrant to go… it’s dangerous there, the Orion Syndicate runs the show, I wouldn’t even feel safe there with a fully loaded Phaser Rifle with me at all times.”

Her mind was clearly made up as she replied, “I’m going, there’s someone there who is trying to help War Orphans… she needs help, and the Federation Council has given us permission to lend a hand… you know how important my work is to me.”

“Is there any way I can talk you out of this?”

“No, and don’t worry, I won’t be alone.” She said simply.

“Just tell me you’re being given Star Fleet Protection.” He added.

“Well, we aren’t Star Fleet… so we’re not exactly on their priority list… they have assigned the USS Hawkins to take us there and back… and provide support.”

“The Hawkins? That’s a Science Vessel… it wouldn’t stand a chance if the Syndicate tried to pull something. I know Captain Anders though, I’ll make sure he takes good care of you…” He said, getting up to write the letter.

“No, Thomas, just let it be… let me do this without feeling like I needed your help to do it…”

He sighed and returned to the bed.

“If anything ever happened to you…”

She smiled at him, he kissed her, he took her in his arms again.

That night he couldn’t sleep. That night he was afraid.

Section III – 2 Years Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18804.12:

“Second Year Field Training is a wonderful opportunity for each and every one of you to gain experience and apply what you learned this last year to the real world. For some of you it will be extremely difficult to return to the classroom next year after this is concluded. You leave now as sophomores, when you return you will be juniors, and you will all be different people. Enjoy this time away from the Academy; enjoy the opportunities this training offers you. Each of you will do something different; I look forward to hearing the stories of your adventures upon your return. And before anyone asks, no one is being assigned to the frontlines, while I appreciate some of you wanting to see some action the Academy is unwilling to risk Cadets needlessly.” Tom said, addressing his class.

One of the Cadets raised his hand, to ask a question.

“Yes, Cadet Wueste?” Tom said, acknowledging the student, giving him the floor momentarily.

“Commander Shaw, a couple of us have been wondering, will we have to take any tests while on Field Duty?” Cadet Wueste asked.

A few people laughed.

Nodding, Tom started with a question of his own, “Cadet Wueste, you’re going to Comm. Relay D-5 on Mars, aren’t you?”

“Aye, Sir.” Wueste replied.

“Well, that’s a valid question, I know this last year has felt like nothing but tests, one right after the other…” Tom replied now, “I’m sure you will all be relieved to know that there will be no written tests during field training. Your CO’s will, at their own discretion, test your knowledge of systems with real world applications, and you will be required to keep a journal of your activities. I think you’ll all agree that isn’t as bad as written exams though. Mr. Wueste, your CO on Mars, Commander Matthews, is a good friend of mine, I am sure she will keep you on your toes.”

Looking over at the clock Tom noticed class was nearly over, “You all ship out at 0800 tomorrow, I suggest each of you get a good nights sleep. Class Dismissed.”

As the room emptied Tom’s communicator signaled.

“Shaw here.” He said, activating the unit.

“Commander, there’s an incoming transmission from your wife.” A voice said.

“Acknowledged, put it through to my office, I’ll be there in a moment.”

Closing the channel he left the classroom.

It was only a short walk down the corridor to his office, once inside, and seated, he opened a channel.

“Catch you at a bad time?” Sara asked.

Tom laughed, “Not at all, class just got out, all you’re doing now is saving me from paperwork.”

Suddenly looking serious, she continued, “Good to know I still have your schedule memorized. I was just dropping you a line to let you know my plans have changed; I’m going to have to cancel our trip, I’ll be heading out to Farius tomorrow.”

“You can’t, it’s not safe.” Tom said. He wasn’t about to let her go, not again.

Her rebuttal came quickly, “That’s what you said 2 years ago, I survived and came back didn’t I?”

“I wasn’t trying to set a precedent, Sara… besides, things have changed, we’re at War, these are dangerous times… and I know for a fact that, in the last 2 years, the Syndicates grasp on Farius has nearly tripled.” He refused to lose this argument, too much was at stake.

“It’s because of the War that we have to go, the children need our help now, more then ever… I just can’t ignore that.” She replied.

He struggled to make a point that would stop her, “There are children in need of help all over the Quadrant, go to another planet. Or stay with our Children, they need you.”

“You know that’s what we’ve been doing, it has been 2 years now, Thomas, we’ve been all over, and it’s time we do a follow-up on Farius… And don’t try to make me feel guilty about leaving Samantha and Melissa, the girls need you too, Thomas, when I’m not out helping forgotten children, I’m with our girls, I still spend more time with them then you do.”

“Tell me Star Fleet is giving you a Starship.” He was nearly pleading now, knowing he’d already lost.

“We’re being given a Runabout.”

“A Runabout? Star Fleet is giving you a goddamn runabout to go to one of the most dangerous spots in the quadrant, during a War no less?” He was close to losing it.

“Don’t play dumb with me here, Thomas, you know resources are spread thin because of the War, we’re a Civilian Organization that provides Humanitarian aid to children. Star Fleet endorses what we do, but they don’t have the resources to provide us with full support… a Runabout is more than we expected.”

“You can’t go…” It was all he could say.

“I’m going, when you get home tonight we’ll work out what to do with the girls, you’re not home enough to take care of them if I’m away, I’m thinking of leaving them with my mother, but we’ll work it out later. See you later, Thomas, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The channel closed.

Section IV – 2 Months Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18806.29:

He was asleep. It was the only thing he still felt able to do in the house. It felt so empty. Sara was away. The kids were with her mother. He kept himself busy; he tried not to think on the emptiness, the fear, the worry.

He had dreamed of them every night. Wished they were home with him. He had visited his daughters a number of times, but Sara had been right, he simply didn’t have the time to take care of them, at least not without her around to help. He wasn’t sure what that said about him, he wished he could make the time for them, but there were never enough hours in the day…

Tom felt useless, and that was a feeling he couldn’t stand.

A light began to flash on a nearby console.

He wasn’t conscious enough to notice it.

[Incoming Priority Transmission] The computer reported.

That woke him up.

He stumbled out of bed, nearly tripped over his suitcase, which he had just finished packing the night before, and managed to seat himself at the communications panel. This was the last thing he needed now, he’d taken 3 weeks leave, and was booked on an early morning transport to Rigel, where Sara’s mother was, where their children were staying now. It would be a long trip by shuttle, and he needed his rest, a late night caller wasn’t helping.

“Uh… Computer, what’s the nature of the transmission?” He asked, the words sounding as tired and confused as he was.

[Priority Transmission from Star Fleet Security Headquarters] The computer intoned.

“Put it through.” He instructed.

[Authorization Code required to open channel]

What the hell…? He thought.

“Request Security Access, Authorization Shaw-Epsilon-1-9.”

[Access Granted, the following is from the Office of Vice-Admiral William Hayter, Commander, Star Fleet Security.]

The Star Fleet Logo flashed off the screen and was replaced by Hayter.

He could see how tired Hayter was, not just because of the time, but because he knew Bill was getting old, and desperately wanted to retire. Bill had planned to retire last year, but, when the General War began, he was convinced by the Council to remain, convinced it would be best to avoid unnecessary shakeups in the command structure. And so he was still in charge of Security, and Tom could tell, just by looking at him, that the man had resigned himself to the notion that he would probably continue to fill that position for some time to come.

“Admiral, what can I do for you?” He asked, trying to look formal, despite the fact he was in his nightclothes and had obviously been sleeping.

[Let us dispense with the usual formalities, Tom, it’s late, we’re both tired, and I have unpleasant news.]

God No… Sara… the girls… He thought. He could sense something was wrong. “What’s happened?”

[It’s your wife, Tom, we’ve just received a transmission from Farius Prime, she, along with other members of the organization she is involved with, has been taken hostage by the Orion Syndicate.]

No…

“What are we going to do about it?” He asked now, trying to keep his cool.

[Tom, they want arms and credits in exchange for the release of the hostages, Star Fleet doesn’t negotiate with terrorists, we can’t give them what they want, you know that… they’ve taken 10 people prisoner, they say they’ll kill one of the hostages each day they go without their demands, starting on the first of next month. Our hands are tied, Tom, we’re stretched too thin, we simply don’t have the resources necessary to handle this situation.]

“Damn-it, Bill, you have to do something.”

[I’m sorry, there’s nothing that can be done. Don’t do anything foolish here, Tom, I know you, I know what you’re thinking… it would mean your career. I was quite fond of Sara, you know that, believe me, if there was anything I could do, I would… Tell Samantha and Melissa that I’m sorry… Hayter out.]

The screen went dark, the room was silent.

He couldn’t move.

He’d been afraid something like this would happen.

He hated it when he was right.

He looked at their wedding picture, which sat on the desk in front of him.

She was a unique beauty, arguably not the most physically attractive woman out there, but he’d never cared. She’d always meant the world to him.

He looked at her, he cursed his failings.

He knew it was his fault.

Tears poured from him.

Section V – 2 Days Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18807.01:

[Daddy, why aren’t you coming?] Samantha, Tom and Sara’s oldest, asked.

“I have a lot to do, something has come up… when I’m done though I promise I’ll come by, I’ll bring mommy with me.” He said, fighting back the tears that still threatened to consume him, “Samantha, I love you… when your sister wakes up tell her I love her too… now, please put your Grandmother on again…”

[Ok Daddy, I love you too.]

A moment passed and Samantha and Melissa’s Grandmother, Sara’s mother, came into view.

“I’m sorry to keep unloading them on you like this…” He said.

[It’s no bother, Thomas, god knows I love having them around… have you heard anything about Sara?]

“No, nothing more.”

[Is it true that Star Fleet isn’t going to do anything about it?]

“Emma, I will get her back, believe me when I say I will not rest until I have her back…”

[I believe you; I’ve never known anything or anyone to stop you when you’ve made up your mind.]

“I’ll contact you as soon as I’m back, take good care of the girls, and take care of yourself… if something happens… make sure they never forget how much we love them.”

Emma nodded, the channel closed.

Since the news Tom had repacked, no longer were his suitcases filled with civilian clothing… Now they were filled with weapons, money, tools of destruction.

He still had 3 weeks leave, he intended to use it.

Tom was in no way sure how he was going to pull this one off, but he didn’t have a choice. He owed it to Sara, he owed it to their girls, he owed it to himself to get her back…

He had already filed fake travel records; as far as Star Fleet would be concerned his vacation was exactly as it would have been. As far as anyone would be concerned he was going to the Rigel system to be with his daughters.

Emma knew what to do if anyone called to ask about him, no one would ever need know what he’d really done.

The plan was far from perfect, but it was the best he could do in 2 days.

The Syndicate would begin to kill hostages today, he was out of time.

As he prepared to leave the door chime signaled, he had no idea who would be coming by now, he’d made it clear he didn’t want to be bothered.

Opening the door he found five of his closest friends there.

“We know what you’re going to do.” Lt. Commander Marc Varle said, acting as the leader of the group.

“Oh really, I haven’t made my travel plans a secret.” He replied.

“Don’t play games with us, Tom, we know you’re going to get her back.” Lieutenant Jessica Reynolds said now.

“We know you, we know that you have to do this.” Lieutenant Richard Matier added.

“Look, Tom, we’re your friends, we know if you have one vice it’s that you take loyalty and devotion to an extreme.” Lt. Commander Paul Iwasaki commented.

The only one there who had yet to say anything, Lieutenant Leon Hennen, stepped forward now and spoke, “If it were any of us we know you’d be there to help, we think you’re doing the right thing… we can’t believe Star Fleet’s turning its back on this… we’re here to help, and nothing you can say will stop us.”

“If Star Fleet finds out what I’m doing they’ll likely court-martial me, I can’t ask any of you to put yourself in danger, to risk your lives, your careers…” Tom said.

“But you didn’t ask, we’re insisting, besides, we’ve already filed less than accurate travel plans, you wouldn’t want those to go to waste, now would you?” Paul interjected.

Tom thought to insist they leave. But he knew he needed help, he knew he couldn’t do this alone.

“It means a lot to have such good friends… now all of you, come in lest someone on the streets hears you.” Tom stated, motioning them all in.

Once inside, the doors closed, Marc asked, “Now that we’re in on this little plot, how exactly do you plan to pull this off?”

“Up until now I wasn’t quite sure, we’re going to need a ship…” Tom began.

“That’s not a problem, we have an impounded Yridian Destroyer already prepped, she’s mostly automated, and believe me when I say no one will miss it, let alone care that it’s gone.” Jessica commented, solving the first problem.

“Well then, I already have a stockpile of weapons and credits… and now that we have a ship, we have a plan…” Tom stated.

Richard appeared to be taken aback, “You’re not actually planning to give the Syndicate what they want, are you!?”

“That’s exactly what I plan to do, I’m going to give the Syndicate what they want, get Sara out of there… and then I’m going to destroy them.” He said casually.

Jessica frowned, “So you’re going to lull them into a false sense of security by giving into their demands, and then you plan to use that to gain the advantage and destroy their cell? That’s a great plan, if it works, and I’m not so confident about that.”

“That’s why I wanted to do this alone, the odds are against me… if you guys want to back out, now’s the time.” Tom said simply.

No one left.

“I think the real question is this, Tom…” Marc began now, “They kill one hostage today, and it’ll take another 3 days to get to Farius… that means, by the time we get there, at least 4 hostages will be dead. That’s 4 out of 10, what do you do if you get there and find Sara’s already dead.”

Much to their surprise, Tom smiled, “She won’t be.”

“How can you be so sure?” Paul asked.

“Because she’s the only hostage they have who gives them any bargaining room, the others with her don’t have much in the way of family, and they certainly don’t have husbands in Star Fleet… Sara is their most valuable hostage, so they won’t kill her until they feel they have to… we’ll have at least 5 days in Farius to do what we have to… and, if we do our jobs then it won’t take us more then 1 to get her and get out of there. We stand to rescue her and at least 3 other hostages, that may not be great, but it’s better than letting them all die.” Tom said, clearly having thought the situation out fully.

Leon nodded, “No one can accuse you of not having thought this thing through…”

Marc, ever the leader, made the final comment, “Well, then there’s only one thing left to do… we’re all packed, we all have cover stories, so let’s get the hell out of here, we have a job to do.”

Section VI – 3 Days Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18807.04:

The Yridian Destroyer was nothing compared to Federation Vessel, but it was better than a shuttle or runabout. Comfort aside it would do the job, and leave less questions to be answered if something went wrong.

By now they were well passed the planning stage, Tom had been in contact with the Syndicate Cell leader and they had reached an agreement. Ironically the story he’d told the cell leader had been exceedingly close to the truth… he’d just left out a few key details. All 6 of them stood on the Bridge; they were no longer dressed in uniforms, but rather casual civilian attire.

“We’re coming up on Farius Prime.” Paul reported.

Tom smiled, “Drop to sub-light for orbit.”

“Estimate Farius orbit in 2 Minutes.” Paul, who was at helm, indicated.

“I’ve been given permission to bring two escorts with me, though we’re to go unarmed. Paul, Leon, that’ll be you two.” Tom said now.

“You can’t actually expect us to go in unarmed.” Leon commented.

Shaking his head, Tom replied, “Of course not… I believe Rick has some portable localized dampening fields for us; they’ll prevent scanners from detecting small phasers, while, at the same time not attracting any undue attention through obvious sensor disruption. The plan is this, we go in, we give the Syndicate Cell what they want, we get my wife and anyone else we can out of there, and then we take out as many members of the syndicate as we can. Once we’ve cleared the area we’ll beam down the low yield anti-matter explosives, then we beam out… 3 seconds later the compound will be vaporized, leaving no evidence behind. Any questions?”

There was one.

“Yeah, Tom, why bother making this so elaborate?” Rick asked, “What I mean is, why bother beaming down a separate explosive. Why not simply attach an explosive to the weapons? Or set a few of them to overload? Wouldn’t that be easier and more efficient in the long run?”

“Perhaps, but I have a feeling the Syndicate’s Cell Leader, Anton, will want to inspect the merchandize before accepting the transfer. We aren’t dealing in easily replicated materials here, that’s why they’re asking for them as a ransom. The risk of an explosive or weapon modifications being discovered would just be too great that way. It would be best to give them the weapons and money exactly as they requested, lest we be discovered too quickly.” Tom’s response indicated he’d already given this a lot of thought.

Shortly there after the destroyer had assumed standard orbit, Tom was growing tense… he’d planned this down to the last detail, but he knew from experience that things seldom went as planned.

“How long?” Jessica asked.

Tom looked at his watch, “We’ll beam down in about an hour…”

Section VII – 58 Minutes Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18807.04:

Four of them stood in the Transporter Room of the Destroyer.

Tom, Paul, and Leon stood on the Transporter Platform, Rick stood at the controls.

“Those dampening fields should keep your hand phasers concealed from even the most high intensity scan for about an hour, after that though their power cells will begin to degrade and the field scattering effect will lose proper cohesion.” Rick said, as he input the transport coordinates.

Paul laughed, “In English please.”

“They’ll stop working and we’ll be in trouble.” Tom stated, looking briefly over at Paul.

“Basically, yeah, so you’ll want to be out before then.” Rick added, “The hidden pockets in your clothing should effectively keep them from finding your phasers, even if they do a full search… just don’t get too comfortable though, they may be hard to find, but not impossible. We’ll be maintaining an open channel, when you’re ready for beam out just give the word, I’ll get you out of there and beam the explosives down in a single cycle.”

“Energize.”

It was all Tom needed to say, seconds later the trio was swept up in the transport effect.

They rematerialized in a large storeroom; the first thing Tom noticed was the smell… it was the smell of death.

He looked over in the corner and saw 4 dead bodies, those hostages already executed.

They had been left out, perhaps as an example. They were all relatively recent, one of them, likely the first killed, was beginning to look a little… deformed… Tom was amazed by the rate of decay, which struck him as faster than it should have been.

“Welcome, Mr. Shaw.” Someone said.

Stepping from the shadows Tom recognized him as Anton, the Cell leader. He was flanked by a number of others, all remained in the shadows. One of them pointed a device in their direction, he could only assume it was a scanner. After a moment the figure nodded and put the device away.

“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t kill anyone else, now that you knew we were coming.” Tom said, somewhat annoyed.

Anton extended a hand, which Tom didn’t take, “Well, we’ll dispense with pleasantries then. When we spoke yesterday we’d already killed that days hostage. As for today, well, we just wanted to make a point. The rest are still alive. Tell me again, Mr. Shaw, why is it that you, a respected Commander in Star Fleet, do this?”

“I already told you, Anton, you have my wife, I want her back.” Tom was finding it a challenge keeping his temper in check.

Anton laughed, “Ah, yes, I can’t imagine Star Fleet approves of this little endeavor though, what’s that outdated policy of theirs? Never negotiate with terrorists…? Pity.”

“Look, only one thing matters, I’m here, I want my wife back. I don’t care what Star Fleet thinks, I don’t care what you think, I’m prepared to give you what you want in exchange for the hostages.” Tom glared back at him.

“Then I suppose it’s just our luck you showed up then, wouldn’t you say, Mr. Shaw?” Anton replied.

“I suppose you could say that.” Shaw intoned.

“Yes, well, Tom, may I call you Tom?” Anton smiled.

“Sure, why not, lets just get down to business.” Tom forced a smile.

Anton’s smile turned into something resembling a smirk, “Down to business, if you insist, Tom. I’m afraid I must alter the condition of our deal slightly. We need more weapons and more credits than you initially offered. We’ll give you five of the hostages for what you have, and then your wife for double. Not a bad deal if I do say so myself, I’ll give you the five for the same price as your wife.”

“You know that wasn’t our deal.” Tom said, his tone even.

“Well, such is the way of things, if you’re lucky this will be the only change.” Anton’s tone remained even as well.

“Let’s drop the bullshit here, Anton, let’s just acknowledge that we’d both make great poker players and get to the point… I don’t have double, I have what we agreed to,” He was beginning to lose his patience.

“That’s a shame, Tom, I am a man of my word though, I’ll give you five of the hostages, as for your wife, we’ll try not to make her death too unpleasant. I can’t promise you anything, my men do like to enjoy themselves after all.” Anton laughed again.

“I suppose, if I were smart, the best thing to do would be to give you what you want and leave before you come up with any additional demands.” Tom said, his words were cool, calculated.

“That would be wise.” Anton grew serious.

Tom nodded, “Well then, if you’ll allow me to contact my ship I’ll have the shipment beamed down and we can begin the transfer.”

“Don’t try anything, no tricks, Tom… all weapons on him.” Anton made eye contact with his escorts.

Tom did the same, “No tricks… Shaw to Matier, beam down the weapons and credits.”

[Aye.] Matier’s response was almost instantaneous.

Nearly a dozen cases materialized.

“I trust you’ll understand my wanting to inspect the equipment prior to prisoner exchange.” Anton didn’t miss a beat.

Tom simply nodded.

Upwards of 10 minutes passed as Anton as his men carefully inspected the weapons and credit chips.

Tom remained calm, not everything had gone to plan, and getting Sara out would prove more difficult, but now was no time to worry. The inspection would go well, everything was exactly as requested, he had made sure of that. The dampening fields would continue to work long enough. They still had time.

“Everything would appear to be in order. It has been a pleasure Tom, it’s always good to deal with those who put human life ahead of all else. As promised here are 5 of the hostages.” Anton motioned to one of his aides, who quickly brought out five of the six surviving hostages.

“May I at least see my wife?” Tom asked.

Anton seemed to sigh, but motioned to one of his men. Another woman was brought forward, she remained in the shadows, but Tom knew it was his Sara, he could recognize her.

“The smart course of action at this point would be to leave.” Anton instructed.

Guards began to escort Sara away; others brought the remaining hostages towards Tom and his group.

He positioned the hostages behind his group, where they would be safe; Anton began to move away with his supplies.

“Anton, before you go, there’s one thing I forgot to mention.” Tom watched as Anton turned in his direction.

“Really?” Anton’s expression remained unchanged.

Tom smiled, “Where my wife is concerned… in matters of love… no one has ever accused me of being smart in my handling of them.”

He nodded to Paul and Leon; the three of them pulled out their phasers and began firing.

The weapons were set to maximum.

He took cover, “Oh, and Anton, Star Fleet doesn’t negotiate with terrorists, nor do I… I do believe in one thing though, no witnesses.”

Much to Tom’s delight Anton seemed to have actually been taken by surprise. Before the terrorist could even react Tom had fired, the cell leader was instantly vaporized. There was only one conclusion to be reached; Anton had been a rookie, unfortunate for him, damn lucky for Tom.

The room was quickly cleared, Tom was surprised by how easy it had been, but he knew more would be coming soon, “Paul, Leon, you two get the hell out of here with those hostages… I’m going to get my wife.”

Paul’s responded, “Got it.”

Heading in the direction he’d seen them take his wife in, he moved quickly from cover to cover. The base was surprisingly large; he feared he might soon be lost.

Along the way he ran into several contingents of Anton’s men, he managed to beat them back every time.

One of them got off a good shot however; he was hit in the shoulder. It was only luck that allowed him to dodge most of the blast. He was able to continue, but was slowed as a result.

After what seemed an eternity he managed to find the room the hostages had been kept in.

There were two entrances, he picked the one furthest away to use.

Opening the door he stepped in. Closing the door slowly, and crouching behind a crate he was amazed by one fact. The room was soundproof. While outside he’d heard the sound of the phaser fight; now, within, there was no evidence of it.

Looking around the crate, further into the room, he found that the terrorists had been thankfully consistent. This was the room they had brought his wife back too.

Things were going well, there were two guards, they seemed unaware of what was going on outside.

The room was large, large enough that he could tell they were talking, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

He didn’t have to guess though, as their actions quickly revealed what they had been discussing.

The two of them moved towards Sara, one of them held her, she started to struggle, the other stood over her.

They were going to rape her.

Anger consumed him. With lightening speed he leapt up

He fired his first shot, it hit home, the man standing over Sara screamed and was gone, reduced to microscopic particles.

Tom hadn’t been fast enough though.

The man holding Sara took her into a chokehold, using her as a human shield.

“Stay back.” The man yelled.

Tom didn’t stop, his movements were fluid, constant, he took aim, he adjusted the setting on his phaser, he fired.

The shot hit the man in the head, throwing him back.

As he flew his hold on Sara lessened, she fell to the ground.

Rushing over he took her in his arms, she was crying, he held her. Looking into her eyes, he cried.

“We have to get out of here…” He managed to say.

Regaining some sense of composure he activated his communicator, “Shaw to Matier, Rick get us the hell out of here.”

Nothing.

“They said something about a dampening field.” His wife said.

He nodded and helped her up, “A sensible precaution, it certainly prevented us from beaming you out from orbit… that would also explain why the guards in here hadn’t been notified of our attack… come on, we have to get clear of this room.”

She had been beaten, she was weak, Tom had been shot, he too was weak, they moved quickly, as quickly as they could.

The corridor was amazingly clear, he opened another channel.

It went through.

“Rick, it’s show time.” He whispered into his communicator.

[Tom, I’ve lost contact with Paul and Leon, sensors indicate they’re pinned down in the storage room you guys beamed into… a transport inhibitor has been activated over that area, I can’t get them out.]

“What about the hostages?” He asked.

[They’re still down there too… all I got from them was a standby request before the syndicate started jamming communications in that wing of the compound.]

“Beam Sara out, I’ll go get them.” Tom said.

[Tom, it will only be a matter of time before they realize you split off and seal off the entire compound with a dampening field, you either let me beam you up now, or I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to beam you back.]

Sara, put up a strong front as she spoke, “You can’t leave them.”

[Tom, there’s nothing you can do. They’re surrounded; if you try and rescue them all you’ll do is add to the body count.]

Decision time.

He didn’t know what to do.

He’d come to rescue his wife, he had her, but how could he leave behind his friends?

How could he kill them?

[You have to decide now.]

“You can’t leave them.” Sara said again.

Time passed.

For the first time in his life Tom didn’t know what to do.

He had to make a decision, but he couldn’t.

“They’ll die if we leave them.” He said finally.

[Think for a second, Tom! They’re my friends too; you think I want to leave them behind!? But they’re as good as dead already, if there was anything that could be done we’d do it, but there isn’t… I’m beaming you two out now.]

There was no chance to speak, no chance to object, no chance to act, before they were beamed from the compound.

Section VIII – 1 Week Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18807.11:

Tom and Sara sat together in silence.

They had been home now for several days, but they were still consumed with conflicting emotions.

He had been furious at Rick for beaming them out as he had. He had watched in anger as their plan had been completed, as the compound had been obliterated, with two of his closest friends and 5 of the hostages still in it.

That anger had been consuming, but short lived, as only a few minutes later they were attacked by a Syndicate vessel. Matier had been killed during the attack, the console he was at having exploded.

Marc and Jessica had also received minor injuries, but had, by now, recovered.

The overall operation had been a success, but it had come at such a price Tom was having difficulty justifying it even to himself.

He was glad to have Sara back, he couldn’t imagine not having rescued her… but he shouldn’t have allowed others to go with him, he shouldn’t have risked anyone else.

“There was really nothing you could do.” She said.

Tom sighed, “Amazingly that doesn’t make me feel any better…”

Silence.

It was made worse by the fact they had been forced to cover up everything that had happened.

Paul, Leon, and Rick’s families would never know what actually happened to their sons.

They could never know.

The travel records they had filed indicated that they had been in completely different parts of the quadrant. There work had been thorough enough that no one would ever know otherwise. Each death had been classified as an unrelated accident.

All that was left to do was to keep quiet, to keep a low profile, and to let the investigations blow over.

As far as Command knew Sara had been released by the syndicate for undisclosed reasons. While it seemed suspicious, the Syndicate had been known for doing stranger things than releasing a hostage for no apparent reason.

The investigations would pass, and, while the pain would stay with him always, there was little he could do about it.

Through it all though how well Sara was holding up impressed him.

She’d been through a lot, she’d been through hell, and she was being stronger now than he was.

He was reminded of all the reasons he had married her.

“I love you.” He said, and, in that moment, it was all that needed to be said.

They sat in silence a little longer before they were brought from their thoughts by the door chime.

Tom was nervous every time someone came by now, recent events had made him somewhat paranoid, “I’ll get it, just stay here.”

He walked over to the door, opened it, and found a woman, who looked to be in her mid-thirties, standing there, her uniform gold.

“Commander Shaw?” She began.

“Yes, what can I do for you, Commander…?” Tom’s response was geared towards trying to figure out who she was.

“Melissa Peters.” She extended a hand, “I’m from Internal Affairs, could I have a moment of your time?”

“Please come in…” He said, stepping away from the door so she could enter.

There was a brief pause, “One of my daughters is named Melissa…”

“I beg your pardon?” Peters replied.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about my children, they’re off visiting their grandmother on Rigel IV, I haven’t seen them in awhile.” Tom shrugged, his mind was wandering.

Peters followed him into the living room.

Gesturing towards his wife, Tom spoke, “Commander, allow me to introduce you to my wife, Sara.”

“A pleasure, Mrs. Shaw, if you could excuse us though, I need to speak with your husband in private.” Melissa said almost instantly.

“Yes…” She nodded, “Of course.”

After she had left the room, Tom motioned for Peters to take a seat.

“May I get you something to drink?” He asked.

Peters shook her head no, “Commander Shaw, let me get straight to the point, does the name Wueste mean anything to you?”

“Wueste? Cadet Wueste? Yes, he was in a few of my classes as a freshman and in the beginning of his Sophomore Year… I believe he’s on Mars for Field Study. Is he all right?” He was more than a little perplexed.

“Yes, he’s fine.” Peters continued, “He recently won the Academy Commendation Medal.”

“Good for him.” Tom smiled, it was good to see Cadets excel.

Her expression didn’t change, “Yes, well, to be more specific, and to get more to the point, he’s working at a Communications Relay on Mars. During the course of his duties, on Mars, Mr. Wueste discovered certain… discrepancies. These discrepancies relate to the recovery of your wife, the death of two Star Fleet Officers, and the destruction of an unidentified structure on the planet Farius Prime.”

There shouldn’t have been any record of those events, Tom was beginning to worry, “Would you care to elaborate, Commander?”

“Cadet Wueste intercepted communication records from Farius, they indicated that an armed Federation Assault force had landed on Farius, destroyed public property, delivered weapons and financial capital to a terrorist organization, and recovered someone who was being held captive by the Orion Syndicate. The Officers were identified as Lieutenant Leon Hennen, Lieutenant Commander Paul Iwasaki, and Commander Thomas Shaw. That is you isn’t it? And you were friends with those two men, who died under mysterious circumstances recently, weren’t you?” Peters was in full interrogation mode.

Tom was at a loss for words, he nodded, there was only one thing he could say, “Yes…”

Melissa didn’t need to hear anything else to continue, “Your official report indicates that during the time in question you were visiting your children on Rigel IV, yet you just said you hadn’t seen them in some time. How can that be? Travel reports for Commander Iwasaki and Lt. Hennen put them in completely different corners of the quadrant, how then could they have both been on Farius with you? And then to have your wife released for undisclosed reasons by the Syndicate, all in the same time period… doesn’t that strike you as a little strange, Commander?”

“It does.” Tom was close to a nervous breakdown.

She pressed on, “Weren’t you directly ordered by the head of Star Fleet Security not to attempt a rescue operation?”

“I was.” The replies were nearly automatic now.

“How can you explain these discrepancies then?” She asked.

“I can’t.” He said.

She was bringing this to a swift conclusion, “Do you deny the events suggested by this data?”

It took him a moment to find words, “I can’t.”

She brought the conversation to it’s final conclusion, “Then Commander I am forced, under Star Fleet General Orders 18 and 19, to place you under arrest. You will be granted a full and impartial trial during which your guilt or innocence will be decided.”

Section IX – 3 Week Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18808.01:

The Trial had been fast, his Court-Martial nearly instantaneous.

Tom had been able to accomplish only one thing, using General Order 26 he had managed to convince the jury to exonerate Paul and Leon of all responsibility.

As the senior officer involved Tom had taken full and complete blame for what happened.

While he had lost everything, Paul and Leon would, at least, be given full honors, their families treated with the respect they deserved.

It was the least he could do, it was all he could do.

For the first time in weeks Tom sat in the living room of his home, Sara at his side.

No longer was he in a Star Fleet Uniform, but rather a simple civilian suit.

“If you’d told them everything that happened maybe things would have been different.” Sara said, she was trying to help.

He shook his head, “I couldn’t… I realized what had happened, and I knew it would be best not to tell them anything more than they already knew. The Syndicate did this; they knew they couldn’t get to me while I was in Star Fleet, so they had Star Fleet come after me for them. They filed communication records, they planted the necessary information, and Wueste played right into their game. I couldn’t tell them all the details, because the Syndicate only knew about Paul, Leon, and me… if I’d told them the truth they would have found out about Rick, Marc, and Jessica… Rick is dead; he deserves to rest in peace. I had to convince Marc and Jessica to stay out of this, but they can still have full careers in Star Fleet, I refuse to jeopardize that. It is best that only I pay for this, it was my decision after all.”

“I wish we could see the children, at least call them.” Sara added.

Tom frowned, he wanted to see them too, but it wasn’t that easy, “I know, but we can’t… I no longer have the luxury of Federation Protection as a Star Fleet Officer… at least so long as we’re on Earth we’re safe… and Rigel IV is safe too, for now it’s best to not bring any undue attention to them… as soon as things have calmed down a bit we’ll bring them home, we should be safe here… until then though we all need to keep a low profile.”

[Incoming Subspace Transmission]

“I swear, if that’s Marc with another crazy idea of how I can get out of this…” Tom muttered.

Sara stifled a laugh, “He means well.”

He managed a smile, “I know, but I won’t have him risking his career needlessly… It took me long enough to convince Jessica to keep her mouth shut…”

Hitting the necessary controls, Tom opened the channel.

As he sat down the face he saw on the other end wasn’t one he recognized.

“Who is this?” He asked.

Judging from the complete lack of response from the person on the other end Tom concluded it was a recording. The computer couldn’t track it either.

[Mr. Shaw, you caused the death of my son, Anton, I will not rest until justice has been done. You can no longer hide behind Star Fleet. I will see you on Rigel IV; I hear the weather is beautiful this time of year.]

The communication ended.

Tom’s blood went cold.

He was pale, “Sara, get your things, we’re leaving… Now.”

Section X – 4 Day Later (15 Years Ago), Stardate 18808.05:

Now a civilian, Tom finally understood the difficulty Sara had experienced in the past trying to secure transport.

For all his trying the best he could manage was a small shuttle.

It was slow, cumbersome.

It’s best speed was low enough that the trip to Rigel took 4 days.

A starship could have traversed the same distance in less than half that time.

Sara had wanted to call her mother to warn them. For a moment Tom had considered it.

He had realized however that might prove a fatal mistake.

It was all together possible that Anton’s father didn’t yet know exactly where their children were. It was also likely he was monitoring any communications Tom would make. If they contacted Emma and the girls it might act as a beacon and lead the Syndicate right to them.

So Tom had done something that went against every fiber of his being, everything his instinct as a father told him. He didn’t warn them, he put his faith in the Rigel IV Police force, and trusted they could beat the Syndicate to Rigel.

What else could he do?

“This is Shuttlecraft Frontier to Rigel IV Traffic Authority, requesting permission to land in Sector 29.” Tom said as they neared the planet.

[This is Traffic Control, Permission Granted, Maintain Current Flight Plan and Land on Platform 5-19]

Guiding the shuttle in for landing Tom had to remind himself to breath. He hadn’t been this tense in a long time; he’d felt more relaxed when he had rescued Sara. At least then he had been able to come up with a plan.

Now he was just hoping for the best.

The shuttle finally hit ground.

As it did Tom was up, gathering equipment.

“I want you to wait here, Sara, I’m going to get your mother and the girls and come right back. Don’t open the door for anyone other than me.” He grabbed two phasers, put one on his belt, handed the other to her, “If anyone else comes by and tries to get in, even if they claim I sent them, use this.”

She nodded, he kissed her.

He set the shuttle door so it could only be opened from the inside.

Attaching a communicator to his jacket he said, “I’ll signal you as soon as I get back. Have the computer run a voice analysis to confirm it’s me when you get a call.”

Once outside, and the shuttle door had had closed behind him, Tom headed in the direction of Emma’s house.

He nearly ran the 3-mile distance; he was afraid; more afraid than he had ever been in his life.

The thought of losing Sara had been more than he could bear, the thought of losing his baby girls was a thousand times worse.

He began to recognize the buildings as he passed them; Tom knew he was almost there.

It was late. The light was bad.

He ran up the steps, pressed the chime, and held his breath.

As Emma opened the door, Tom was nearly in tears. He had never been so happy.

“Thomas! Now this is a surprise. I hadn’t heard from you in so long, I was beginning to worry.” She exclaimed.

He couldn’t waste any time, “It’s a long story, Sara’s waiting in a shuttle, we have to get out of here.”

“You have Sara with you? This is wonderful.” Emma replied, suddenly noting the concern evident on Tom’s face, “Thomas, what’s wrong?”

There was urgency in his voice, he didn’t want to leave Sara alone any longer than he had to, “There’s no time, we have to go now, get the girls, grab what you can’t live without, and then we have to go.”

“Ok, come in, we’ll be just a second.” Emma finally said.

He stepped in just far enough for the door to close. He waited in the entryway.

The girls ran down the stairs.

“Daddy!” They both yelled.

They were dressed for bed, but there wasn’t time for them to change.

“I missed you both so much… come on, we have to go, let’s go see mommy.” Once again he tried to fight back the tears, this time he failed.

Emma joined them a second later, she had a small bag.

“Have everything you need?” He asked.

Emma nodded; Melissa and Samantha just stared at him blankly.

“Where are we going, Daddy?” Melissa asked.

He tried not to show them how tense he was, “We’re going to see Mommy, you got everything you need?”

The question was moot, it hardly mattered, but he felt compelled to ask it anyway.

Melissa was holding a teddy bear that Tom and Sara had given her; Samantha didn’t have anything with her.

“Lets go.” He instructed, motioning everyone outside.

They moved at a relatively slow pace, Melissa and Samantha were both tired, and, despite his best efforts, he couldn’t get them to move much faster.

Nearing the shuttle Tom began to sense that they were being followed.

He could feel it.

His stomach was in knots.

“Come on girls, we have to move faster.” He said, managing to coax them up to nearly a jog.

They made it to the shuttle. Tom was relieved beyond explanation.

“Sara, we’re back, open the hatch.”

For a moment there was nothing, He nearly panicked.

Then though the hatch slowly began to open; he saw Sara; he knew it was all right.

Melissa and Samantha rushed to their mother.

Emma walked slowly on, gave her daughter a hug.

Tom took the girls in his arms, kissed Sara, and let out the breath he felt like he’d been holding since they left Earth.

“Daddy…” Melissa said, tugging at his jacket.

“What is it honey? He asked, putting her down.

“I think I dropped my bear…” She said.

“I’ll get you a new one when we get back to earth.” Tom said, heading for the helm controls.

Melissa began to cry.

Tom looked at her, he knew he should let it go, but he knew how much the bear meant to her. Since Sara and he had given it to her Melissa had almost never let it go.

“Daddy, please.” She whimpered.

“I’ll get it.” He said, “Sara, keep the hatch closed while I’m gone, I’ll be back in a second, but let’s not take any chances.”

He grabbed a palm beacon and walked off the shuttle, waiting until it was sealed again before heading forward.

Tom retraced their steps. A few hundred yards from the shuttle, near where they had started running, he found the bear.

Picking it up he turned, and suddenly the feeling was back.

He’d nearly forgotten. He’d let his excitement get the better of him.

Now he knew they’d been followed.

It had been a trap.

The syndicate had used him as their guide.

The bear in one hand, he dropped the beacon and grabbed his Phaser with the other.

He ran.

He saw figures outside the shuttle.

He screamed for them to get away.

He activated his communicator, told Sara to take off.

He fired his phaser into the air as a warning.

He saw one of the figures plant something on the base of the shuttle.

He ran faster.

“Sara, get out of there, now!” He screamed.

The shuttle exploded.

He screamed.

He felt someone behind him.

He was hit in the back of the head.

It wasn’t enough to stop him.

He swung around, fired, killed the man.

He fell to his knees, cradled the bear.

He cried.

Anger filled him, consumed him, he dropped the bear, stood, rushed into the flames.

Tried to find someone, something, anything he could save.

The tears were gone.

The flames burned him.

The smoke choked him.

He collapsed; he felt death clawing at him.

Consciousness left him. Everything was dark.

Section XI – 13 Years Later (2 Years Ago), Stardate 20109.03:

Tom had been dragged from the wreckage.

He hadn’t died.

The Syndicate assumed he was dead, believed he was dead.

He wanted to be dead.

Yet he lived.

Reconstructive surgery had taken months; he had refused to believe his family was dead.

Refused to tell anyone his name, for fear the syndicate would come after them again.

After recovery though he had resigned himself to the fact they were dead.

Nothing had mattered after that.

He had drifted for years, aimlessly, without purpose.

Without a name, without an identity, he had been alive, but nothing more.

Years had passed.

The anger had grown within him. Festered, become something tangible. It had become a part of him.

One thing kept him alive; one thing pushed him to continue.

Revenge.

It was all he wanted now.

He had stopped blaming the Syndicate, he knew they were too big for him to oppose.

He knew it was best for them to believe he was dead.

Besides, he understood them now.

Anton’s father had done this because his son was dead.

Tom now understood what that felt like.

He now understood.

He didn’t blame the syndicate because he now knew what it was to want revenge, to crave it, to need it, to live for it, to devote one’s very existence to it.

His anger had finally gained a focus.

He remembered one man who had played into the Syndicates hand.

One man who had put his career ahead of Tom’s family.

One man who would suffer for what he had done.

Dan Wueste.

The name filled him with hate.

He would erase that name from existence before he died.

And before that he would make Wueste suffer as he had, he would take everything from him.

He would take all that mattered from the man.

There was nothing else left.

He stood now in a civilian transport hub.

He had returned to earth. Visited his old home, now belonging to another family.

It was an endless cycle.

“I would like to book passage to Starbase 1.” He said to a teller.

“Of course, sir, could I please have your name so I can register passage?” The teller replied.

He remembered the words of Paul Iwasaki… Look, Tom, we’re your friends, we know if you have one vice it’s that you take loyalty and devotion to an extreme.

He missed them. He missed Sara. He missed his daughters.

“My name? Paul… Paul Vice.”